The Butcher's Masquerade

Background

Floor 6 is called The Hunting Grounds — a vast jungle world with a single named city (currently held by hunters), high elf territory in the deep jungle, and Naiad-filled rivers. The floor has a unique mechanic: Hunters — alien NPCs who arrived early and set up in the city — are released to actively hunt crawlers as part of the floor’s structure. 30 hours of grace period, then the hunt begins.

Views: 512 Sextillion. Followers: 142 Quadrillion. Carl is now Leaderboard Rank #1. Bounty: 3,000,000 gold. Only 85,223 crawlers remain from all of Earth.

New mechanics: Hunters (NPCs who hunt crawlers for trophies), the Ring of Divine Suffering (marks targets; killing them grants permanent stat bonuses, at the cost of a healing debuff until the mark is killed), mercenaries (hire-able for gold per day), and the bard class (Donut’s new class, which requires her to sing in key to cast spells — a significant problem given her singing voice).

The floor’s second phase culminates in the Butcher’s Masquerade — a formal magical event hosted by a cleric named Imogen, who throws a party inside a castle under a peace seal (no violence allowed). At the party’s conclusion, the goddess Apito is supposed to grant a boon. In practice, it never actually happens.

New characters: Quasar (Carl’s alien attorney, a gray-skinned Nullian in a hula-girl tie), Holger (forest NPC), Edgar (a tortoise with a silver needle stick and a castle map), Vrah (a giant mantis hunter with a grudge), D’Nadia (who corrects “Princess” to “Empress”), Zabit (a hunter who killed 25 crawlers), Eva (hunter who killed 50+), Signet (someone’s tired-of-running sister), Chaco the Bard (wolf-headed, Mordecai’s former party member who Mordecai wants to murder), Kiwi (a velociraptor Donut has charmed), Bomo (in Mordecai’s safe room from previous floor), Ferdinand (the queen’s pervert cat who spies through tunnels in the castle, also shares a name with Bea’s ex).

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Chapter 1 — Floor 6 Begins, Rank 1, Attorney Obtained

“Welcome, Crawler, to the sixth floor. ‘The Hunting Grounds.’” Carl enters the floor and is immediately brought before Orren, the Syndicate liaison, in what appears to be a disciplinary hearing. Carl — having read the dungeon rulebooks extensively — asks for an attorney. The system, to his genuine astonishment, provides one. Quasar, a small gray-skinned Nullian alien with a hula-girl tie and a New York accent, materializes. He is technically a holo but operates legally in the room. His opening assessment: “You are balls deep in the wrong hole, and mom is pulling into the driveway.”

Time Until the Hunt Begins: 30 Hours. The grace period is active. All hunters have been transferred to the city of Zockau.

Chapter 2 — Jungle World, Funeral Bells, Beautiful Terrible Place

Carl steps through the door (which is a port-a-potty in the middle of the jungle) into thick foliage, overwhelming humidity, and animal calls. The floor is beautiful in a way that makes him think of his old dream of being a park ranger, a dream he never acted on. The guards for the first settlement are Funeral Bells: level-95 mushroom men, eight feet tall, rigid and unfunny. One falls over as Carl approaches. It isn’t dead. It has a debuff.

Chapter 3 — Quasar the Attorney, Five Minutes

“You’re gonna have to step out of the room,” Quasar says to Orren. He doesn’t get Orren to leave, but he gets a five-minute private conversation. Carl is in legal trouble with the Syndicate for something he did at the end of Floor 5. Quasar navigates it efficiently and irritably, bouncing a rubber ball off the back wall the whole time. The situation is resolved — not perfectly, but adequately.

Chapter 4 — Hunt Countdown, Donut’s Bard Class Problem

“Time until Hunter Release:” The group is preparing. Katia, Chris, Clay-ton, and Very Sullen leave via caravan. Donut and Mordecai are going shopping. Carl notices Donut’s new bard class has a catastrophic flaw: she has to sing in key to cast spells. Donut sings like, in Carl’s assessment, “a helium-drunk cat being crushed by a steamroller.” Rhythm: “a drunk, three-legged donkey navigating ice-covered stairs.” They urgently need an item with the Golden Throat enchantment before the bard spells can function.

Chapter 5 — Crawler Note: Forkith (20th Edition), Ring of Divine Suffering

Note by Crawler Forkith, 20th Edition: Layout of the Hunting Grounds floor. The jungle covers most of the map. The named city always has its NPC government wiped out by hunters within 30 hours. There are high elves in the deep jungle who attack everyone, including hunters. Stay out of the water — Naiads. There’s a significant river. The floor’s backstory: “Scolopendra’s nine-tier attack” killed most of the world’s population.

Carl equips the Ring of Divine Suffering (given to him by Frank Q on a previous floor). Every marked target he kills grants a permanent +1 to a stat point, but while a mark is active, he can’t heal. This floor has no cooldown on marks. He takes a breath.

Chapter 6 — Crawler Note: Everly (5th Edition), Blood Trail Debuff

Notes by Crawler Everly, 5th Edition: A series of three entries. First: mercenaries are expensive and unreliable (one died from a chair; she still owes 22 days of pay). Second: floor 8 gave her a great box as if making up for the previous one; she lets herself hope. Third: she takes it all back. Her sponsor was steering her toward a viewable death. “Fuck you, Dictum Waystation Controls.” A final note from Drakea: “This is Everly’s last entry.”

Carl wakes up in the back of a cart, completely soaked in blood. A woman’s hand pushes him back down. He’s been out. Multiple debuffs are dissipating. Blood Trail is still active — a leaky-pipe bleeding debuff that makes him trackable. “Did we get any of them?” he asks. “You almost died, Carl.”

Chapter 7 — Small Bugbear Settlement, Holger’s Tree

The town is a “Small Bugbear Settlement.” Holger, a forest NPC, speaks of an old, magic-infused tree that protects the dwellers of the forest. Carl files this for future reference.

Chapter 8 — Loot Boxes, Planning Continues

Multiple boxes to open, other stuff to do, but Carl sets it aside for an hour. He sits and processes what just happened and what comes next. The Ring of Divine Suffering is active; the first mark hunt went catastrophically but instructively.

Chapter 9 — Time Until the Hunt Begins

“Time Until the Hunt Begins:” The grace period is nearly over. The hunters will be released from Zockau. Carl, Donut, and whoever remains are finalizing their positions.

Chapter 10 — Don’t Touch It Until It’s Time to Leave

“Do you understand? Don’t touch it until it’s time to leave. It’s really stable…” Someone is describing an item or arrangement that must remain untouched. Carl is deploying a large trap setup that will activate on the correct trigger.

Chapter 11 — “This Is Just Not Acceptable”

“This is just not acceptable.” Someone — likely Donut — objects to a plan, a development, or an NPC’s behavior with a force that suggests the word “unacceptable” is doing a lot of emotional work.

Chapter 12 — Donut into the First Pub

Carl pulls Donut into the first pub they pass. It looks like a regular in-theme building. The pub is the floor’s social gathering point and an early source of intelligence about the hunters and the floor’s political situation.

Chapter 13 — Weather Changes, Sunny to Something Else

It’d been sunny just a few minutes before, but now it was different. The Hunting Grounds floor has volatile weather that changes the tactical situation quickly. Carl adjusts.

Chapter 14 — Hunting Trophies Collected

“Hunting Trophies Collected:” Carl has begun collecting from the hunters he’s killed. The trophy mechanic is a floor-specific system where defeating hunters yields collectible items. The Ring of Divine Suffering interacts with this.

Chapter 15 — “What Kind of Boring, Cookie-Cutter Story Have You Gotten Us Into?”

Donut in the chat, all caps: “CARL, WHAT KIND OF BORING, COOKIE-CUTTER STORY HAVE YOU GOTTEN US INVOLVED IN?” The quest line Carl is currently pursuing looks, from Donut’s perspective, like a standard dungeon fetch quest. It is not. Carl is aware it is not.

Chapter 16 — Were-Castors, Point Mongo

The two were-castors accompany Carl and Donut on their trek back to Point Mongo. Were-castors are what they sound like. They have useful night-vision and water-navigation capabilities. Signet sent out additional forces to meet them.

Chapter 17 — Two Were-Castors, Saferoom

Carl gets the two were-castors set up with rooms at the inn and moves to the safe room. He reviews what he’s learned. The castle information that Edgar has is now fully mapped.

Chapter 18 — Carl Gasps, Donut Gasps

“I said as Donut gasped.” Both of them reacting to the same revelation at the same time. Something about the castle, Imogen, or the Butcher’s Masquerade has just been confirmed that changes their understanding of what they’re about to walk into.

Chapter 19 — Sitting on the Couch, Show Starts

Two spots over from a pair of NPC-adjacent beings, Carl and Donut settle in for the recap episode as it starts. The recap covers their actions on Floor 6 so far. Carl assesses how much of their planning the broadcast has captured.

Chapter 20 — “It’s Too Bad Odette Is Keeping Her Mouth Shut”

“To be a reality television star,” Donut said. “It’s too bad Odette is keeping her mouth shut.” Odette (returning from Books 1 and 5) has information that she’s choosing not to share on the broadcast. This tells Carl something important about the structure of what she knows.

Chapter 21 — In Time to View the Recap, Wishing Something Hadn’t Aired

Carl makes it back in time to view the recap episode and immediately wishes something in particular hadn’t aired. The dungeon’s broadcast has captured a specific moment that is now publicly visible to 512 sextillion viewers.

Chapter 22 — Descent Instructions

“Until you start to descend, and then close your mouth. Don’t do it too early.” Someone is being instructed on how to enter a body of water, a shaft, or a descent point without being hurt by the initial transition. This is for the castle approach.

Chapter 23 — Ring Leveled Up

“You have leveled up the Ring of Divine Suffering. It now gives two stat points for each mark killed.” The ring’s efficiency has increased. Carl’s mark count is rising.

Chapter 24 — Crawler Note: Drakea (22nd Edition)

Note added by Crawler Drakea, 22nd Edition: Drakea’s entries span many floors. This one covers something specific to the current situation that Carl hasn’t known how to approach — a piece of institutional dungeon knowledge that changes the calculation.

Chapter 25 — Samantha Fished from the Mud

Carl fishes Samantha out of the mud. Samantha is covered in mud in a way that she finds both undignified and wonderful. She has been doing something on her own, without being asked, that has had unpredictable results.

Chapter 26 — Future Hunter, The Castle’s Alarm

“You think that was her real name? Future Hunter?” Donut asks as they watch a hunter team approach the castle. The castle’s alarm — ah-luga, ah-luga — means “attackers at the main gate, all defenders converge at the front.” The orc hunters all seem to have weird names by Donut’s assessment.

Chapter 27 — To Be a Smart Person

“To be a smart person.” Someone is attempting to be a smart person and finding it does not fully resolve the situation they are in. This is a character reflecting on the gap between their intelligence and their circumstances.

Chapter 28 — Premature Questjaculation!

New achievement! Premature Questjaculation! Carl has completed a quest or quest objective in a way that triggered the completion before the intended method. The achievement’s existence suggests this happens often enough to warrant naming. The result is still a completion. Mostly.

Chapter 29 — Edgar the Tortoise, Silver Needle

Carl watches, fascinated, as Edgar the tortoise uses a silver, needle-like stick to manipulate something precisely. Edgar has a castle map and specific knowledge of the masquerade’s infrastructure. He is a tortoise who has been planning this for a long time.

Chapter 30 — Entering Security Checkpoint

“Entering Security Checkpoint.” The castle’s outer defenses have a checkpoint. Carl navigates it using the cover established by the masquerade’s guest list protocols.

Chapter 31 — “You’re the Cat’s Bitch”

“You’re the cat’s bitch,” the little boy said. He was human, and his badge marked him as something within the castle’s service hierarchy. Donut is deeply offended. Carl is not entirely unsympathetic but keeps moving.

Chapters 32–36 — Hunting Ground Operations

Multiple chapters covering ongoing hunter confrontations, the second phase of the floor’s hunt mechanics, and preparation for the masquerade. Were-castor deployments. The scope of the hunt mechanic and the trophy count continues to grow.

Chapter 37 — The Phase Transition

Something changes floor-wide. The second phase of The Hunting Grounds triggers, shifting the available targets, the hunters’ behavior, or the castle’s status. Carl and Donut use the transition.

Chapters 38–45 — Masquerade Preparation, Edgar’s Map

The castle map from Edgar is studied and re-studied. Four ballrooms. A security control room on the third floor with soul crystals that control the ballroom protections (mute spells, inventory locks, weapon bans). A peace seal covering the masquerade’s duration. The goodwill overlay that prevents violence as long as the seal holds. Ferdinand’s tunnels (spy passages through the castle). The queen’s ballroom (no protections). The plan takes shape.

Chapters 46–50 — Crawler Notes and Floor Documentation

A cluster of crawler notes from various editions covering: mercenary costs, the AI’s behavior changes on higher floors, the warning not to anger Vrah to the point of breaking the peace seal (whoever does gets banished to the Nothing), and the progressive destabilization of the dungeon’s broadcast situation.

Chapters 51–55 — Vrah’s Threat, The Masquerade Begins

Carl stands at the prize counter inside the castle while Vrah the giant mantis stops an inch from his face, mandibles gnashing. “I have a present for you, Carl. It’s coming soon.” Zabit (Atoll-race hunter, killed 25 crawlers) is also at the counter, admiring the prizes. Chaco the Bard (wolf-headed, from Mordecai’s old party) hovers nearby looking nervous.

The Butcher’s Masquerade begins. The peace seal activates. Carl, Donut, and the team are inside the castle as guests. Signet arrives: she’s tired of running, she knows it’s a real Butcher’s Masquerade (rare), she’s glad to be here. Her sister is also in the room. The guards can’t touch Signet without breaking the seal. “It’s quite delicious, isn’t it?”

Chapters 56–65 — The Planning Notes as Documentation

The book begins including Crawler Carl, 25th Edition writing his planning notes directly into the future archive in real time, documented from inside a bathroom (his covert communication method). The notes reveal:

• The security room controls four ballrooms via soul crystals
• The “Gideon distraction” to empty the castle of guards
• Imogen is likely someone Carl knows; he suspects she may have been intended to be Bea
• Louis discovers Ferdinand’s spy tunnels (cat-scale passage systems throughout the castle, including a route to the third-floor security room)
• Samantha will use these tunnels to deal with the elves in the security room
• Donut will charm Ferdinand magically during her stage performance, using the potion Mordecai made from a liter of cat blood
• Donut finds the planning notes via Carl’s frequent bathroom trips. She is not pleased. She will do it anyway.

Chapter 66 — Off the Rails, Ysalte Adjacent

Things are going off the rails. “Like they’ve been one step ahead of us the whole time.” Apito’s guestlist has placed the most dangerous variable in the same room. Carl tries to spin this as better than the alternative — their enemy’s first target will be someone else, buying them time.

Chapters 67–69 — Vrah’s Present, Ferdinand Under Charm

The prize counter. Zabit’s 25 scalps. The confrontation with the hunters — Carl barely avoids Vrah breaking the peace seal out of fury, which would banish him to the Nothing. Louis on stage with Donut, playing “Anaconda” by Nicki Minaj at deafening volume from trap-module-repurposed speakers. Smoke bombs in the corners. During the chaos: Donut casts the charm potion while on stage. Ferdinand, wherever he is in the queen’s ballroom, becomes Donut’s official minion. Samantha enters the tunnels.

Chapters 70–75 — Crawler Notes, Samantha’s Mission, Resolution

Crawler Carl, 25 and Louis continue to document the planning. Samantha enters the cat tunnels, complaining the whole way. The security room is reached. The soul crystal controls are addressed. The peace seal dynamics shift. Imogen/the queen appears in a glittering ballgown and shouts “Ferdinand, get here this instant!” Ferdinand is elsewhere, with Donut. Several crawlers mistake the queen for a resurrected crawler. The floor’s climax plays out in the ballroom as planned, more or less.

Chapter 76 — The Nothing Takes Imogen, Floor Ends

The Butcher’s Masquerade ends in the expected way: Apito grants no boon. Imogen’s fate is the same as every cleric who’s ever hosted this event. What is different is that Carl’s team is not among the dead. They exit the castle with Ferdinand listed in Donut’s minion chat and Samantha riding triumphantly on someone’s shoulder. The floor collapses.

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What This Book Does

Book 6 is the series’ most elaborately plotted entry. The Butcher’s Masquerade is a caper: infiltrate the castle, charm the cat, disable the protections, escape through tunnels. The planning notes embedded in the archive as “Crawler Carl, 25th Edition” do double duty — they document the plan for future crawlers, and they show Carl thinking in long arcs. He is not just surviving the dungeon. He is leaving a record.

Donut charming Ferdinand (the pervert spy cat who is also named after Bea’s ex-boyfriend, intentionally or otherwise) is both tactically decisive and emotionally satisfying in ways the story doesn’t point out explicitly.

Samantha is in the tunnels. She complains the entire time. She succeeds.